Franziska, a visitor of Satya Dharma Center, shared this poem as her gift during the 6-Day Retreat, held in December of 2023.
“Meeting all of what is unfolding in this present moment dark and light! Sometimes it’s a lonely journey yet I know, I have never been alone. The seed has been planted. I don’t know how many lifetimes ago or just right here – right now.”
I cry out to You for I have abandoned You for too long. Tears are rolling down my face out of this deep longing for Truth to be embodied.
How can I deny what has always been with me? “Come closer dear friend of mine you have never been lost” a voice whispered.
Willingly or unwillingly my soul has been screaming for You. So I got intoxicated by Your grace by Your song of unconditional love where words can’t take me to describe it.
The mountains mirror my beauty, the lake is still and silent, the shadow is serving the light and it seems that they dance with each other like a love affair, while the Sun is shimmering unashamed in the brightest light. What is this all being reflected to me?
Is it Love? Can I let it in? Was this grace there all the time but I was somewhere else?
It seems vulnerable, unbearable at times, nothing my small me could ever hold onto. But love is like the sun – there is no effort for it to be and no wanting to be seen… it just shines. Like Rumi said – “I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I’ve been knocking from the inside.”
Meeting all of what is unfolding in this present moment dark and light! Sometimes it’s a lonely journey yet I know, I have never been alone. The seed has been planted. I don’t know how many lifetimes ago or just right here – right now.
It needs courage, a thousand and one fortunes are available on the journey, most are pitfalls – indeed, the seed is safe, which is hidden within hard seeds. This already is the beginning of love. I am protected by something in me, what has been chosen already. You carried me for a while and now it seems I have to grow up.
Slowly I tried and never stopped to let go of the hard shell that once protected me. I keep choosing You and open myself up to divine Power.
The war immediately began: fighting with the soil, with gravel, with stones. Although seeds are inherently hard, preschool is very soft and dangerous.
The sprout is fragile yet powerful in its will. I trust and follow the impulse for Truth because I know You will find me where I have been found already. Were You here with me all along? “It’s time to wake up” – the voice said.
Tears out of grace and gratitude for this deep longing within, you get pushed through and I’m willing to surrender. What else should I long for once I have tasted this poison of love? What a beautiful way to die. I am willing to give everything that is not serving anymore and I know it will be tested. It is a joyful sacrifice and every seeming suffering keeps pushing me closer to the center of my soul.
My mind cannot understand the beauty You are giving to me. It’s too dense. Luckily You became my life force and I’m willing to put everything to Your feet as Yare calling me forth to serve in a way my mind doesn’t know yet.
Dust and confusion don’t belong to what is unfolding in front of me. Clouds are forming, thoughts are passing, the point of no return keeps guiding me on. I get pushed through everything that seems to be in the way. The Sun is calling me and I have faith that one day I will realize what flower I will become.
What a personal love story it is. I see other flowers next to me. They already mirror the beauty You have given to them. I am in awe and start to remember what has never been forgotten. Mind wants to know what my heart already feels.
I let go of all I think and start anew right now. What should I want other than what I have in the fullness of the present moment? The Seed is already planted – “have faith” the voice speaks.
The sun is shining in my face and warming me up while the mountains whisper long forgotten Beauty into my being. It’s still, thoughts are not having much impact.
I’m here with what’s arising. I long not for more than what is given to me, otherwise I will miss the beauty of that moment. There it is…. the fullness of my being everything already planted in one seed.
What I was seeking for, was seeking me. I am home.